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TOUR DATES

 

October 24

The Machine Shop
Flint, MI

 

October 25

The Token Lounge
Detroit, MI

 

November 10

Byron Bay Brewing Company
Byron Bay, AU

 

November 11

The Greek Club
Brisbane, AU

 

November 12

Ainslie Football Club
Canberra, AU

 

November 14

UNSW Roundhouse
*SOLD OUT*
Sydney, AU

 

November 15

UNSW Roundhouse
Sydney, AU

 

November 16

Capri Theatre
Adelaide, AU

 

November 18

Fly By Night Club
*SOLD OUT*
Perth, AU

 

November 19

Fly By Night Club
Perth, AU

 

November 22

Dallas Brooks Centre
Melbourne, AU

 

November 26

University of Auckland
Auckland, NZ
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No other New Zealand cities/towns will be added

 

Thursday
May082003

Best Friend update

lee stranahan from lustneversleeps.com is my new best friend with a bid of 28.95.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

[ New best friend must outbid $28.95. ]

Now my wife will probably fuck him and leave me without beer money. What an asshole.

Wednesday
May072003

For The New Guys

Since a lot of you are new to this site because of the Man Show - and since I have nothing good to update you on since I've been doing nothing but working on the Man Show, here's what to do.

Buy my fucking CD's.

Sign the mailing list so I can let you know when I'll be playing near you.

Read the archives, prank letters and the baiting stuff. Catch up with everyone else.

Then go to the message board and be a dick.

Scroll down for the latest audio clips. Ignore the horrible old naked woman. I know it tends to queer people away.

Or, if nothing else, you can buy my friendship via Paypal.

Top of Form

 

Bottom of Form

Right now it only costs 27 dollars to be my best friend, although any amount will qualify you as my friend. Ameen Behlbari (or some such ridiculous name that I cant remember) is my worst friend with an amount less than a dollar, but he is now a friend none the less.

Best friend perks include a phone call if you inform me a close relative has died (must have proof, limit one family member) and a postcard from somewhere that I'm having more fun than you. Also, you will be required to put me up if I'm ever in your shitty town. Your best friend status can be revoked by a higher bid at anytime.

In the meantime, I will be in my office, trying to score free shit from companies that want me to use their shit on my show. A bunch of Converse All-Stars are on the way as I wait for word back from Phillip Morris and Miller Lite.

I'll have to wait for the show to air before I can begin work on "Celebrity Gloryhole" but I'm cashing in where I can.

Honey's birthday is Next Thursday, May 15th so send gifts to her - (sign my name on the card)

                                   Doug Stanhope's Wife

                                    363 1/2  Rose  Ave

                                   Venice, CA   90291

If I can think of anything else you can do for me or give me or score for me, I'll let you know. Or if you have any ideas of things you can give me, send them in along with the 4 dollar service charge for considering your idea.

                                                                                                    ~stanhope, not selling out.

Monday
May052003

Redacting

For legal reasons, the fine folks at Comedy Central have asked me to remove pictures of said Juggie-auditioners from this site.

In their absence, I have replaced them with these pictures of the graceful female body stolen from elsewhere on the internet.

Stanhope    ~Not toning it down for anyone (except the people with the paycheck).

 NOT The Juggie Auditions