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TOUR DATES

 

October 20

Dr. Grins @ The BOB
Grand Rapids, MI

 

October 21

Pittsburgh Improv
Pittsburgh, PA

 

October 22

Snickerz Comedy Club
Fort Wayne, IN

 

October 23

Cleveland Improv
*SOLD OUT*
Cleveland OH

 

October 24

The Machine Shop
Flint, MI

 

October 25

The Token Lounge
Detroit, MI

 

November 10

Byron Bay Brewing Company
Byron Bay, AU

 

November 11

The Greek Club
Brisbane, AU

 

November 12

Ainslie Football Club
Canberra, AU

 

November 14

UNSW Roundhouse
*SOLD OUT*
Sydney, AU

 

November 15

UNSW Roundhouse
Sydney, AU

 

November 16

Capri Theatre
Adelaide, AU

 

November 18

Fly By Night Club
*SOLD OUT*
Perth, AU

 

November 19

Fly By Night Club
Perth, AU

 

November 22

Dallas Brooks Centre
Melbourne, AU

 

November 26

University of Auckland
Auckland, NZ
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No other New Zealand cities/towns will be added

 

Monday
Dec032012

This is why I have my email on the website.

Hey Doug, pretty sure you can appreciate this since you're not a faggot about the dark shit people feel.

I'm 34, so this was close to 20 years ago this shithead I went to elementary and high school with used to call me names, trip me, tell people I was talking shit so they would want to fight me, shit like that. One thing I remember more vividly than any of this was this time on the school bus I was leaning over the seat in front of me, talking to a friend, and he snuck up behind me and hit me over the head as hard as he could with this kid Scott's history book and knocked me silly, practically unconscious, hurt me, made me feel like an asshole, and just laughed with all his scumbag friends at me slumped over.

I left that school after my sophomore year, never really saw him again, until my sister texted me to tell me "Harry Klingenberg died in a meth lab explosion." 

It gets better, though, because I google his name and some other keywords and find surveillance video on a news site.

Around 0:35, I just got goosebumps and started laughing like a motherfucker, because there he was, being rolled into a hospital, writhing in pain shortly before his death, with burns over 80% of his piece of shit body.

He was cooking in a car in a hospital parking lot. You can see the shit explode and watch him die.

Maybe you don't give a fuck but I've been listening to you for years and I feel like maybe you can relate.

Cheers, Doug, see you next time you're in Philly.
- Tug

 

Friday
Nov162012

Attention Tucson, and other Arizonan, comedians...

 

 

As usual, I will close out the year at the Rialto, Saturday Dec 1st.

This year's Tucson show will be proudly home to "The Funniest Person in Arizona Comedy Competition."

And unlike all other comedy contests, we tell you upfront - "It's a Scam!" That's why there is no need for it to continue for weeks of preliminaries, semi-finals and finals. It's just one night!

Not only just one night, but just one minute!

That's right! You will only get to do one minute of material!

But, you ask, how can they judge us on one solitary minute of comedy?

Because like all competitions, It's Completely Unfair!

So unfair, in fact, that you will not even know that categories on which you're being judged, none of which will be comedy related.  Originality? Who cares? Stage Presence? Not an issue. Crowd Response? Wasn't listening!

The only thing I will promise you is this contest is NOT rigged, that the winner is NOT pre-determined. The winner will be decided by a panel of completely unqualified judges using a scorecard of random, superfluous criteria.

The winner will have the title of "The 2012 Funniest Person in Arizona" and will be opening for me for shit money immediately upon being crowned.

And the rub is, the losing comics will probably still cry that it was unfair!

But that won't matter to you because your career will be rocketing skyward and you will never look back!

To enter email a link of your stand-up that I will watch no more than a random 10 seconds of before making a decision. If you don't have a clip online, you can just send me an email telling me how funny you are, that you have a shitload of friends that will be buying tickets or other subtle forms of bribery, chicanery, hi-jinx or bamboozlery.

We will choose 10 comics to compete and will let you know by Wednesday, November 28th.

Email doug@dougstanhope.com

Thursday
Oct252012

An Interview with John Lydon

I get a call at 7:45 a.m. a few weeks ago that I only got up for to scream at whoever dare call at that hour.

Missing the call, I check the voice message and it says -


"Hey John it's Mike Ragogna from KRUU & HuffPost - we have a phone interview scheduled if you can please call the studio line - it'll be real easy, just a few questions about the new release and PiL."


I had an interview scheduled with this same guy at noon so he'd obviously put the wrong phone number to the wrong guest - and although I don't know shit about music I did catch the John and the PiL together and realized he was calling for John Lydon aka Johnny Rotten.

So I dialed the number he'd called me from, got voicemail and left a message saying who I was and that he'd called the wrong guest.

 

Ten minutes later I'm woken up again to the phone ringing and now I fucking furious.


"Hey John it's Mike Ragogna from KRUU & HuffPost - we have a phone interview scheduled if you can please call the studio line..."



This time I said fuck it, wrote down the studio number, put on the best British accent I could muster (which is absolutely fucking awful) and called in to do the interview as best as I could, being still half asleep and not knowing shit about who I am pretending to be.

We assumed that there was no way it would ever air... certainly someone would realize or fact check - I mean, I left him a voicemail message on his cell phone that he was calling the wrong number.

But they put it up today and at this moment still have no idea. I bet they pull it all down shortly after this goes up but we now have the recording and screen shots as back-up. 

Find the KRUU.com audio version HERE (starts around 12:30) and the transcript of the interview on Huffington Post HERE.

UPDATE: Sometime this morning on 10/26/12 KRUU.com and the Huffington Post took down the interview. You can still find our backup below.


Sadly they edited out the fun parts where I would pause to fake-vomit mouthfuls of water into the toilet our loudly take a piss with the phone just over the bowl but they left in the "Howard Stern" and "Baba-Booey." How could they have ever guess they'd been duped?

Also, HERE is an interview I did as myself on same phone number later. Guy still clueless.

In case the original interview and audio disappear, evidence is embedded below.

 

John Lydon Interview by dstanhope

 

Click for Original Article