Hello Victor, 

What is the meaning of life? 



What's the meaning of life? Well good sex, firm breasts, farts that don't smell. 

It's really about noticing what you have...I use to live the fast track, drink, drugs, pussy, that and work was my life. Once coming to death row I THEN seen what a fool I was. Life is day to day and to LIVE it is to NOTICE it. Notice sun sets, a birds song, grass to your bare feet. Notice the warmth of a bath, taste of food, a passing smile. When you notice the SMALLEST of daily blessings you'll live and you'll have TRUE answer to your question. Try it for a week, NOTICE all things and be thankful for ALL things you'll THEN understand my point. 

This shall cost you one phote in panty and bra for this service. 




I just learned that doug stanhope quit smoking. I remember when Bill Hicks quit smoking. Soon after, he started smoking again when he realized that he had pancreatic cancer. I imagine Bill started smoking again because he knew he was dead anyway. But, aren't we all dead anyway? If we are all going to experience the same ultimate end, why does it matter how long we are here? Aren't the winners the ones who cross the finish line first? Do you smoke? Do you shave the graphite from pencils, wrap them in toilet paper and stick them in the electrical outlet so you can smoke a cadillac or a pearl handle? 




Yeah we are all dead, just waiting to punch the final time clock. Why does it matter how long we are here? If you've found your soulmate you've the answer. If not that mate shall come, and once this happens you'll find you not only welcome life, but you wish to spend every moment possible in this life with your soulmate. 

Do I smoke? Fuck yeah I'm on death row. I'm doing my part to help the state. Whatcha think I'm some kind of damn freeloading bum? I already stick my tongue in the outlet daily as I wish to build up the amount of elec. charge I can take so when they free me I can set a record. 


I met this guy at this college place he goes to school half an hour away from me. He gave me his phone number the first minute I met him right. He was talking to me and being real nice to me the day but I was sort of playing hard to get and pretend I wasn't interested in him. I really liked him a lot. Then we were leaving and me and my friends and he accidentally ran into the window he thought it was the door I guess. Both our schools were SUPPOSED to come again and he didn't show up I was pissed I was staring at the door for like 45 minutes he never came. I called him at breakfast inbetween classes and even at lunch that day. But I was dialing the wrong number cuz I checked when I got home. I dialed the right number and found he changed his stupid number cuz I had called before to see how he was. I was even more pissed. I still love him a lot but what do i do I can't call him. 

The 1 and only freddie lover, 

Shannon Staff (13)



Seems you made first mistake by starting off playing mind games. So now you're pissed at him? You write you love him? But from your e-mail you only seen him the once....Shannon, DON'T join the group who use's the word's "Love and Friendship" so freely when in truth little or no feelings is given with the words. You may feel free to write me at below address if you wish as e-mail due to where I am takes longer. Chin up, tits back, and if it's ment you find him again you shall. If not TRUST me your soulmate IS out there. 

Death row Vic 

Victor M. Farr




Dear Victor, 

I am a manager at a computer company, and some of the people I work with are so incredibly dog dick stupid that I have a hard time understanding how they stay alive, let alone work in the tech industry. I am often tempted to rap them in the back of the head with a 7 iron, and blame it on an invisible leprechaun. 

If they didn't buy it, how much jail time would I be looking at? I figure 
you would be in the know about this. 

Tiger woods.


Well lets put it this way....death row has lots of room. Knock them off and I'll see ya soon.....I'll call you Tammy. 

Love Daddy Vic

Dear Victor,

Is there any way that you are aware to make waffles that are good for you? I weigh 400 pounds and I am on a diet to become more healthy but....I love waffles. Can you help?

400 lbs? Damn when was the last time you seen your lower parts? I think you should sue someone over this issue as suing has become the way of life in good old U.S. of A.
Waffles are good but damn bro ya need think about your heart. Just because something is good it don't mean it's good FOR ya. Every time ya go to eat THINK of yourself naked in the shower. That may help slow ya down abit.





1. Why is the English alphabet in the order it is in? Is it so people can say, LMNOP, and think it's funny?, or did congress have something to do with it those fuckers. 2. Shouldn't they call it not quite dead yet row?

#1 Why ask why? I mean when you take a shit do you ask why you look at the toilet paper with each wipe? Maybe you should ask how you can help homeless people, or feed someone. Sure seems you've alot of time for wondering stuff. # 2 Yeah good point maybe it should be called "not quite dead yet row". But aren't we all really on death row? Just because a person is here is there any promise you'll out live me?
Drink a beer for me and have a joint. 


I am 15 year gurl going out with a 14 year guy. He turns 15 in May. We have been going out for almost 2 months. I like the guy a lot. Our relationship isn't tight, b/c it is long distance. We have gone on one date so far. I talked to him on the phone valentines day and that is the last time I talk to him. So , almost 3 weeks. I like the guy a lot, and I don't want to lose him I just feel that we are breaking a part slowly.

Please help.


If you FEEL youre braking apart you likely are...A long distance relationship is hard on anyone. If there isn't trust and willingness on both parts to work at this then it won't last... Youre 15 so believe me there's another out there for you. Bit of advice! If any guy pressures you for sex saying "if you really loved me you would" dump him. Any male worth his weight and who truly loves you will respect you. Take NO abuse NOR give any. 





I need some advice! I have a 17 year old daughter, who with 2 months left of school 
wants to transfer to a different school because she feels she is failing 1 subject in school which will prevent her from graduating high school this year. And will prevent her from entering into the Air Force in July, the recruiter has told her she can push back the date in order for her to go to summer school. 

She thinks by going to a bigger school that it will be easier to pass the course, the school she wants to go to has in school tutors. and she thinks that because it is a bigger school that she won't get the indiviual attention that her school requires of her now.
On top of that, she has one boy she has been going with for 4 years now, that she has broken up with numerous times, that keeps begging her to go back to him, meanwhile she is dating another boy, but lives rather far away that she likes, she admits that part of the reason she wants to transfer is to be closer to him.
In the short of it, I think she will be hurting herself at this time to transfer to a new school.
What is you're opinoin, 




I think she should back up her inter date, IF need be and go to summer school. But remain where she is. As for the boy she brakes up with, it's a unhealthy relationship. And moving for another isfoolish. She WILL meet a guy in the service who shares her goals. So 
for now ice the boys, tell her to study and please herself for now. 




How could I talk to a wwf superstar wrestler and get a responce back from him?


Go to a local match I guess. Fuck I don't know...If you're into all the rough stuff I've a few friends here on death row that will body slam you and stick dicks in places you never thought of. 




hey, ireally like this guy but i dont know how he feels about me. sometimes i get these vibes that he likes me but i am not sure and i dont want to make a fool of myself. how should i approach him and ask him on a date? 

Marie Warvel



We all make a fool of ourself time to time in life...If you really like him tell him. If you're turned down so be it, life goes on. Otherwise you may never know...Friendship FIRST ALWAYS. Also never base a relation on sex. What I mean is if he pressures you for sex it's clear he only wants pussy. Dump him for you ARE better then just a fuck for any guy. Take no abuse give no abuse in life. 

Have a beer for me and play with ya tits. 






i need guy help...i like this guy who works in my grocery store. he bags the foods and also gathers the carts from outside, and puts them together...well, i really like him and i think he likes me too. he always is looking at me, but i can tell he is shy by the ways he acts towards me...a few times he smiled at me, while looking away and downward.. i want to talk to him, but i don't know how to especially when he is busy working...please help!! i want to give him my # and ask him out... 




Maybe he is shy Liz....wink at him a couple diffront times and really thats the only signal needed to let him know youre interested. Talk with him and build a friendship and see where that may go..... In life don't be a bitch, be giving and kind, don't allow abuse to yourself nor to others. You could flash him a tit also, but thats to say ya want to ball...Don't build it on sex....


howdie victor, 

i recently got back from a trip to las vegas. now, me and my friends frequent there quite often. i'm not sure if you've ever been there but it's heaven. so i have 2 things to ask you. first of all, one the my friends, his name is shumann, well he got so drunk out there, and took so many muscles relaxers, he actually passed out in one of the casinos. while passed out, he had a bowel movement and crapped his pants. my friends and i found great joy in this. unfortunately, shumann, or as we called him, poohman, got very irritable. my question is this, since he took it upon himself to get that drunk, does he have a reason to be pissed at us for poking fun at him? second question is, is there anything wrong with beating off on a 50 year old hookers face? i hope not. left wondering,

billy humphries


He's pissed because he took a dump in his pants. If he can't hold his mud when drunk he needs expect getting fucked with. I say to Poohman, wipe your ass and grow up. No there is not wrong in beating of on a 50 year old whores face. Hell I beat off on my cellmate all the time. Fucken don't like it but hey..

Dear Victor,

Check this out, i think this LA girl, typical know it all from LA, knows everything about everything, i think she gave me herpes but not sure?? I love her pussy though, dumb and high maintenance but the nicest pussy you ever seen! what should i do??



Look RD,

check it out. If it's proven ya don't have herpes, dump her. If you already have it stay with her, theres NO reason for you to spread it around. And being you are so in "love with her pussy" enjoy licking and sucking that puss infested thing.
Inspect before you infect next time.

Death Row - Vic

Dear Victor,

I just recently got married and i cant take it anymore. What is your advice on how to get out of this relationship??!!!!!!



Thats why using the hand is always best until ya are sure who youre marrying.... To get out you could say your gay, or in love with pair of dirty panties. But whatever you do, if youre sure this marrigae isn't going to work, get out. For theres NO reason to bring a child into a unhappy home. As well as life is to short to walk around unhappy. And longer ya stay more stuff ya'll have to move.....Let me know what happens.


Dear Victor, 

I come to you desperately seeking advice. My problem is a most perplexing one, to which I can see no obvious solution. You see, I have been offered a fantastical reward from a travelling Aussie git, who stayed with our deranged LA comedian friend if I can pose you a decent problem... So my quandry is... that I don't have a problem. I have been wracking my (rather meager) mind for days and still nothing. What should I do?? I have considered swapping my girlfriends birthcontrol pills for sugar pills, so that I can debate whether or not to use the coat-hanger. I spose I could assault officer-friendly, and that would give me something to talk to you about, like how to keep "Bubba" outta my ass. Can you help Victor?

Help me WIN the probably-shithouse trinket! >>Dan


Sorry it's taken me abit to get reply to ya.....with State about to kill one of my friends, it's got my mind fucked-up. 

It seems the problem is you THINK you've no problem....Go to some nut doctor, or get in some relationship with a woman, and you'll soon learn you DO have problems. I promise you they WILL think of something...If nothing else they will blame YOU for THERE problem. This is why masturbation is important. Talk to ya self as you fist fuck and no one to answer to.

Now call our L.A. friend, and tell him you need come clean. That it's really been troubleing you when at his house you pisses in his bathroom sink, and rubed his toothbrush to your dick head...


Advice from Death Row 
Victor M. Farr 

#541170 P1206S 

P.O. Box 221 
Raiford, FL. 32083-0221

Dear Victor,

Will a man divorced, 40 years old, after 16 years of marriage and 2 children ever get over being bitter? During 16 years of marriage and 2 children, he always had something else to do - usually involving his friends and drinking - never home. So, I divorced him after 16 years of loneliness and being just a warm place to put his - I'm finally at ease and happy, but because of contact with the 2 kids (ages 12 and 15) he constantly makes me feel like I ruined his life and the kids. You must have a lot of time to think about things, so what the hell, what do you think? I think I'd trust yor opinion more than Dear Abbey. 

Thanks! Noodle


Dear Lisa, 

It was good to receive your e-mail, and I hope this finds you well. Forgive delay in reply, as e-mail is forwarded reg. mail. You are welcome to write via reg. mail if you wish. 

Your are finally at ease and happy, after your divorce.....that's your words therefore I take it as words from soul. BUT contact with ex - due to his visiting the kids brings you down.... I admire fact you allow visits, as many women try to use the children as a tool, instead of thinking of there well being. 

Never put your ex-down in front of the kids, in ANYWAY. It hurts them, and makes them pick sides. Allow his OWN actions speak for SELF. The kids on own will see him for who he is. 

As for his mouth to you everytime he comes around. You could set up a time for him to pick up the kids, and time of return. This would make it so you don't need be around him long. Or as he mouths picture in your mind a pile of shit with a mouth. Let the words go in one ear and out other. KNOW you're happyer without him, and his mouth IS reiforcing that. 

If you allow anothers words control YOUR view of SELF, they are then winner. Stay strong, love your kids and love SELF. 


Advice from Death Row 
Victor M. Farr 


#541170 P1206S 
U.C.I. -

P.O. Box 221

Raiford, FL. 32083-0221