Dear T.G.I. Fridays,

I recently dined at your Austin, Texas location with some business associates and had an incident that still irks me. The hostess that evening brought us to our table and, while setting down the menus, stopped abruptly, rolled up on the balls of her feet and let go a horrific backwind that mortified us all. It started in a high pitched squeal, slowly moving down in octaves to a rich flutter that sounded like a flag blowing in a high wind and finally, with her eyes rolled up in the back of her head, she rounded it out with a wet rip that rang like someone stepping on a near-empty ketchup container. She paused for a moment and then said thoughtfully, “Jiminy Christmas, I better check on that one!”, and excused herself to the ladies room. She returned a moment later to say that she was “all clean” and that our waiter would be with us shortly. We said nothing at the time as we were all terribly embarrassed. It was my first trip to TGI Fridays and for a moment I wasn’t sure that this was not considered normal at your restaurant but I can’t see where that is possible. Please let me know your feelings on this matter, as I was otherwise wonderfully surprised at your top-notch establishment.

 

Thanking you,

Doug Stanhope