Dear Honorable Mr. Waxman,

I am writing you, my congressman, in an ongoing attempt to find justice. Several months back I ordered a film from a mail order house in Indiana that was supposed to be chock full of midgets having sex. I receieved the film in question and was shocked to find but one midget in the whole film. I’d been hoodwinked, bamboozled, waylayed and otherwise led astray. That was just the beginning of this terrifying oddessey.

Since then I have contacted the company, the Better Business Bureau and even a consumer advocate in an attempt to rectify this travesty of consumer rights.

I have nothing but the empty sound of silence on all fronts.

Maybe the nature of the product casts me in an unfavorable light. Maybe folks are reluctant to standup for me because of the perceived pornographic nature of midget love or maybe they just hate midgets, I don’t know. But I know my rights as an American. I know that if you sell me a video entitled “Sexual Experinces With Midgets”(plural), there had better be, at minimum, two midgets or everything that our forefathers fought the Bloody British for in 1776 is as good as swirling down the toilet.

Please get behind me on this, Honorable Waxman, and together we can make these people see what American Pride is all about.

The company in question is: Leisure Time Products P.O. BoxM827 Gary IN 46401-0827 800-874-8960

 

Thanking you in advance,
Doug Stanhope

 

PS. Be aware that this company does NOT take C.O.D. orders.