Dear BMG Music Club,

I’ve seen your advertisements and have been tempted to take advantage of your “6 CDs for a penny” deal. The one thing that always holds me back is, no Aryan skinhead hate metal! How can you run a record club and not carry the grooviest new music on the scene? I understand that you may have problems with the music’s point of view. As a full-time Rabbinical student and an intern with the Anti-Defamation League, I could never condone the message that these bands promote, but when it comes down to plain and simple dancibility, these Nazis are the rockinest! Just because I’m Jewish doesn’t mean I can’t get up and boogie with the Goyim to the infectious chants of “Sieg Heil! White Power!” as the feedback tortures the amps! If you get too caught up in the words, sure you could be taken aback, but, heck, this isn’t a book club, now is it? If you’re going to scrutinize the music for a few chancy lyrics, well we could go all the way back to the glorification of a remorseless killer in Bobby Darin’s “Mack the Knife” to the blatant animal cruelty promoted in Rick Dee’s controversial “Disco Duck”. Let’s stop judging these fine artists as Jew-hating, gay-bashing, killers of our colored cousins and see them as what they really are, guys with swastikas tattooed on their faces that know how to get down and shake their groove thing! Until then, I’m keeping my penny right here in a tax-exempt IRA at a 6.9% interest rate.

Please let me know your feelings on this matter.


Thank You,

Nathan Titlebaum