Dear 7-11,

I scored an eighth of weed in front of your location at Sunset and Curson in Los Angeles last Thursday night from a dude named Stoolie and I think I got hoodwinked. First of all, he’s not the usual guy that I buy from, the guy with the goofy eye they call ‘Tip-Toe’, but he said that Tip-Toe was in jail and he was shoeing for him this week. I was short for time and that place been lousy with the filth as of late (What up with the 5-0?) so I took his word , scammed the leaf and blew. When I got back to the homestead and opened it up, all a whole bunch of nothing but stems and seeds in this sammich! I scoot back to your store and this head Stoolie beat dead gone. So I went about inst the store and asked your man in charge, “What up?” He said that , ya, Tip-Toe got put down hard but says he don’t know sheeeit about no donkey named Stoolie. So I say then how about you give me a refund on the scratch? Then your man tries to tell me I brought the bag back light and since I opened it, no refund. At this point I said f**k it, just give me store credit. He said store credit gets only fifty percent due to a restocking charge. I say how you gonna go restocking some raggedy ass trail mix smoke like that? Then boy tells me I can take the store credit or he can even out with some grade A skag he brought up in his ass through customs. Now he and Tip-Toe know I ain’t messing around with no horse so I tell him like I’m telling you. You make right on the deal or I will take my hard earned money down the street to a store that cares about the customer. Please let me know your thoughts on this matter.

 

Thank You,

Doug Stanhope