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TOUR DATES

 

August 15

Highline Ballroom
New York, NY

 

August 16

Highline Ballroom
New York, NY

 

August 17

Highline Ballroom
New York, NY

 

August 21

Comedy Store
Los Angeles, CA

 

August 22

Comedy Store
Los Angeles, CA

 

August 27

Cobb's Comedy Club
San Francisco, CA

 

August 28

Cobb's Comedy Club
San Francisco, CA

 

September 12

The Trocadero
Philadelphia, PA

 

September 13

State Theatre
Falls Church, VA

 

September 18

San Jose Improv
San Jose, CA

 

September 19

The Mohawk
Austin, TX

 

September 27

Plaza Hotel & Casino
Las Vegas, NV

 

November 14

Venue TBA
Sydney, AU

 

« The Podcast is Here. | Main | Attention Tucson, and other Arizonan, comedians... »
Monday
Dec032012

This is why I have my email on the website.

Hey Doug, pretty sure you can appreciate this since you're not a faggot about the dark shit people feel.

I'm 34, so this was close to 20 years ago this shithead I went to elementary and high school with used to call me names, trip me, tell people I was talking shit so they would want to fight me, shit like that. One thing I remember more vividly than any of this was this time on the school bus I was leaning over the seat in front of me, talking to a friend, and he snuck up behind me and hit me over the head as hard as he could with this kid Scott's history book and knocked me silly, practically unconscious, hurt me, made me feel like an asshole, and just laughed with all his scumbag friends at me slumped over.

I left that school after my sophomore year, never really saw him again, until my sister texted me to tell me "Harry Klingenberg died in a meth lab explosion." 

It gets better, though, because I google his name and some other keywords and find surveillance video on a news site.

Around 0:35, I just got goosebumps and started laughing like a motherfucker, because there he was, being rolled into a hospital, writhing in pain shortly before his death, with burns over 80% of his piece of shit body.

He was cooking in a car in a hospital parking lot. You can see the shit explode and watch him die.

Maybe you don't give a fuck but I've been listening to you for years and I feel like maybe you can relate.

Cheers, Doug, see you next time you're in Philly.
- Tug

 

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