Neighbor Dave will be in Houston & Austin. Dave is my neighbor - hence the nickname - and has been one of my best friends in Bisbee since I met him here a few years ago. And although we hang out all the time and watch football religiously when I'm in town, until December 2009, Dave had never been to my show. That's my favorite part of Neighbor Dave. He never really gave a shit what I do. He's just a happy 57 yr old fat guy who runs a route for Frito Lay, has a fantastic wife Evelyn, loves the Colts, always smiles and wouldn't give a shit if you were a celebrity or an emergency room ball-shaver (which I do as a volunteer across the border in-season.)
Like I said - until December when he came to the Hotel Congress gig in Tucson after 15 hours of work and a 110 mile drive. So I made some references to him and our relationship and kinda made him the focal point of the show. You guys - as much as I love to insult, berate and complain about my audience - you came up strong after the show and made Neighbor Dave feel like the coolest guy in the room.
People bought him drinks and took pictures with him. They had him signing my merchandise. I've never seen anyone more happy. Neighbor Dave was beaming like Bob's Big Boy.
A week after he was home, Evelyn said that they were gonna have to widen the door frame to get his head out. To help, she made up a few "Neighbor Dave & Stanhope" t-shirts for us and got him a Neighbor Dave baseball hat.
Neighbor Dave has vacation in April and it turned out to be when I'm in Houston and Austin. I told him he could come along but I warned him that these towns are waaaaaaay more fucked up than Tucson - with all due respect to the Hotel Congress but I never thought my life might end there every single time I came to town.
Keep your eye out for him at the Houston and Austin shows. Here's his picture or - if your memory is as poor as mine - he'll probably be wearing his Neighbor Dave hat. make him feel famous.
Some people have children to remind them of the small joys in life that they themselves have started to get bored with or take for granted. I have Neighbor Dave.
The London dates at Leicester Square Theater are the only overseas dates this year. Get your tixquick and stay at your gay friends bathhouse.
The feedback about the bowel-stain swamp-lord Saints fan in Tampa was incredible in that he is just some random shitbag with a lot of money and a ridiculous fan bus from a very small town in Louisiana. By the amount of email I got from people in that town that knew him, you'd have thought he was Rush Limbaugh.
I guess being an awful dick makes you a de facto celebrity - at least for the people who have to suffer through you on a daily basis. Because 99.5 percent of the people agreed with how rotten the guy was, most people said he was far worse of a human being than I even know and one person agreed that the guy was a squat but offered that he had done a few good things after Katrina - bringing it down from 100 to 99.5 percent.
If you haven't read the story, it's HERE.
And if you see Jay in Luling, LA - remember that sometimes buying your own beer is less expensive in the long run of your soul.