Like I've told you - a lot of people send me free shit and I love it, even when it's just shit. But sometimes it's really fucking cool.
Not long ago I get an email with the following...
"I work for the manufacturer of the Silver Surfer Vaporizer. I am writing to see if you would be interested in a free one? We don't advertise, instead we just give our vapes away to the comedians, artists, and musicians that we love and let them spread the word for us. So let me know if ur interested. Thanks for your time!"
As you know, I am not a weed-head. So when I read "vaporizer" - I assume it's some kind of humidifier or medical equipment. How the fuck should I know?
I write back like a smart-fuck...
"Are you fucking kidding me? I'd LOVE an SSV!
Send it in my Girlfriends name, as she is a sort of imbecile and I can yell at her for spending too much money on things.
Amy Bingaman 212 Van Dyke St Bisbee AZ 85603
I will yell about it from the rooftops when I figure out what it is!
I imagine the confusion on Bingo's squash when some vaporizing contraption or breathing machine shows up in her name. I never considered why someone would choose me to send commercial samples of such merchandise but I get a lot of emails. I try to make quick work of 'em.
I never again thought of Silver Surfer Vaporizers until Bingo called me in Ireland and told me that someone sent some outrageously high-dollar, hand-crafted, balls-out toking machine. It took me a second to put it together, realize what I retard dildo I am and explain to her where it came from.
This thing is amazing. My (OIL DIFFUSING) friends are all posturing to get it like it's an inheritance - since I don't (DIFFUSE OIL FOR AROMA-THERAPY PURPOSES ONLY). Fuck, it makes me want to start (VAPORIZING EUCALYPTUS OR JUNIPER BERRY.)
If you guys love hanging out doing aroma-therapy behind the Circle K and you're tired of firing up your Ylang Ylang out of a beat-out Coke can with keyholes puched in it - Grow Up and Get a Silver Surfer Vaporizer!
Check that shit out on their site to see what I'm talking about and spread the word!
If nowhere else - at least tell Rogan. He's certainly a man who likes his aromas to arrive first class like this. I'll figure out some kinda goof contest to get a proper home for this aroma-therapy machine amongst you animals soon.
I'm in DC, Baltimore and Philly this week with a quick run in NYC just around the corner - get tickets quick and suggest the show to someone completely inappropriate. I miss seeing that look in the eyes of the ones who didn't know better.
Brian Hennigan - my filthy Scotsman manager/comedy mid-wife - will be booking all the tour dates for 2010. So far I have told him not to book anything until we see how this lottery ticket works out for Saturday night.
We all feel pretty strong about these numbers but it's always best to have a Plan B - and our B-Plan is continuing into my 20th year of bringing misery to the stupid, rallying hate where it is most needed and stealing hope from those who never thought it all though.
Oh, and there will be plenty of uncomfortable fuck jokes. Where would we be without disturbing fuck-funnery? I'm getting kinda tired of having a point anyway. Time to have some fun again.
Oh... so my point is that you can email Brian at stanhopebooking[at]dougstanhope.com about booking 2010. I find when I book it myself I end up routing Albany, St Louis and Birmingham in the same weekend.
Thanks to you rotten fagtastics for continuing to leak word of all this around your fetid social circles and keeping me in business. 20 years of 300 people in a room and I still think of you like you've been the same group the whole time. We have scraped out a very strange little one-way cul-de-sac niche in the vast world of what other people find entertaining. Glad you made it, let's get a drink. We do die in the end, did I mention?
Keep leaking the word.