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TOUR DATES

 

August 27

Cobb's Comedy Club
San Francisco, CA

 

August 28

Cobb's Comedy Club
San Francisco, CA

 

September 12

The Trocadero
Philadelphia, PA

 

September 13

State Theatre
Falls Church, VA
Cheapest tickets are at the Venue Box Office

 

September 18

San Jose Improv
San Jose, CA

 

September 19

The Mohawk
Austin, TX

 

September 27

Plaza Hotel & Casino
Las Vegas, NV

 

October 8

El Paso Comic Strip Comedy Club
El Paso, TX

 

October 9

Launchpad
Albuquerque, NM

 

October 10

GoldenLight Cantina
Amarillo, TX

 

October 13

Outland Ballroom
Springfield, MO

 

October 14

Deja Vu Comedy Club
Columbia, MO

 

October 15

Jukebox Comedy Club
Peoria, IL

 

October 16

Rock Island Brewing Company
Rock Island, IL

 

November 11

The Greek Club
Brisbane, AU

 

November 12

Venue TBA
Canberra, AU

 

November 14

UNSW Roundhouse
Sydney, AU

 

November 16

Capri Theatre
Adelaide, AU

 

November 18

Fly By Night Club
Perth, AU

 

November 22

Dallas Brooks Centre
Melbourne, AU

 

« Doug Vs. Tanya | Main | Sacramento, Reno, The Carribean, Jamaica, West Palm Beach »
Friday
Apr232004

The Man Show and Women

 

The new season of the Man Show starts Sunday, May 2nd with back to back new episodes, including the Tonya Harding fight. Tivo it, cocksuckers. In the meantime, you can get the Girls Gone Wild video I hosted here. I watched it and actually thought it was pretty funny and I hate every word that has ever come out of my gaping mouth.

I have temporarily yanked the Tonya Harding story that was up a couple days back. I'll put it back up Sunday after the show airs. Wouldn't wanna give away the ending in case you have money on it.

Come back Sunday night for the behind-the-scene details.

Also, I taped my new DVD/CD - Before Turning The Gun On Himself - for Shout! Factory last weekend in Seattle. Thanks to all who came out. It should be ready for release in August. Stay tuned and fill out the mailing list for updates on that and live performances in your area.


NOTICE -

PayPal has stopped service because they say that this is an adult site - a deal-breaker in their code of ethics. How is this an adult site? Beats me, but if you're on the internet and you pick this site to jack off, your problems are far worse than my problems with the thieves at PayPal.

In the meantime, you can get the CDs at www.amazon.com and the DVD at www.sacredcow.com.


Earlier this year, I was protested at a show in Madison by a group of socialists that deemed The Man Show to be degrading to women. [Archives: September 2003]

Shortly afterwards, I was given a 6 page letter at a show by a woman - Lynda - who had driven several hours to a show in Des Moines, also upset with my participation on The Man Show and it's relationship with the subjugation of the ladies - especially because she had always found my humor to be "intelligent".

I promised her at that time that I would read her letter and respond in kind but then I figured I'd wait until this Girls Gone Wild video that I hosted came out. If you think girls on trampolines is exploitation then Girls Gone Wild is video gang-rape.

(This may be a poor choice of words in light of recent allegations against GGW owner Joe Francis. But fuck it, I'm hard up for analogies. Besides, that girl was asking for it by the way she was raped.         Pause............Oh, please - it's a fucking joke. Lighten up.)

If you have ever wondered how a naive young lady from middle America could make the jump from sorority sweetheart to ass-arched and eating beaver in front of a Sony PD-150, you need no more than to spend 30 minutes in the GGW editing bay.

Not only will you see women go from staunch puritan to finger-banging nymph in less time than it takes to heat frozen pizza, you see it done using the comic-fodder cornball lines from any "How To Pick Up Chicks" manual.

This isn't exploiting women. This is exploiting idiots. And to trying to protect idiots from themselves is like fighting to kick water up hills.

Usually I can see both sides of any argument and will concede the difference. I eat meat but can see why someone would be against the methods that the industry uses. I think it would be a safer country if guns were illegal but I still would not trade liberty for safety.

I do not see how shows like the Man Show or Girls Gone Wild hurt women. I have pondered it calmly and rationally. I don't see it. Maybe I just haven't heard the right argument but I read Lynda's letter and she seemed as bright and articulate as anyone I can imagine not understanding.

Lynda says it's degrading because these programs show women as one-dimensional, ignoring their emotional and intellectual attributes. Not so. They do not show women as one-dimensional, they just show one dimension of women. A Discovery channel show about cervical cancer doesn't necessarily show women as emotional or intellectual beings either. And with the women I saw on GGW, you'd rather see their cervical cancer than their intellects.

As for the Juggies - they, like most of us, are looking for extra attention and a pass from the ugly 9-5. They could give a fuck if you look at them as sex objects, reptiles or epileptics so long as they get a free drink here and there and don't have to punch a time card at Home Depot.

As for the wobbling nitwits on Girls Gone Wild - well, again - that's just straight up exploitation. Hanging a video camera out like a bug-light for ego-starved dummies who will sober up in the morning and milk drama out of it for years.

How people are excited by it is beyond me but I've been so immersed in titties in the last year that it's like saying a word over and over again until it doesn't make sense. You may as well have burning tires hanging off your chest. Maybe that's why some women are out-raged by this kind of stuff - because it de-values a marketable grift. I always thought that was a main reason that women are against prostitution. They look at hookers like scabs crossing a picket line. Why go out and sell it when you could hold out for so much more?

Until men no longer want to fuck you, it is a need that will be exploited in some fashion and by both sexes. You will exploit our need as much or more as men will.

For all of your protests, legislation and vigilance, you cannot change human nature. You may become a loud enough voice that one may hide his boner for fear of being seen as less than ethical. It won't change the fact that he has a boner. You may make it seen as wrong to laugh at one type of humor but if I have to wait to get to the privacy of my car to laugh, it's still funny.

Back around '94 or so I was leaving a park in Minneapolis when I spotted a group of 5 or 6 middle-age, PTA-looking women throwing rocks at ducks in the lake. Not teenage hooligans. Fat midwestern housewives. Chucking rocks at ducks. I asked someone walking away from the group what the hell was going on. Evidently there was a female duck in heat - and when male ducks catch a whiff, the courting process is more prison rape than Elimidate. 30 - 35 male ducks were pig-piling on this female duck in a squawking frenzy like the Houston 500 porno gangbang.

 

And these women were doing their civic duty of trying to stop it. By force.

I pulled my car up close to them as I pulled out and rolled down my window.

"Hey ladies", I yell and they turn around. "It's ok. Ducks fuck."

And the one woman, crazed and spitting bile screams "NOT LIKE THAT, THEY DON'T!"

That she meant it was absolutely terrifying. Trying to fix nature by throwing rocks at it. Protesting against human nature. And democracy is fair because it gives this broad array of morons a voice in your future. Eesh.

Ducks Fuck. Girls Go Wild. Men look. No one gets hurt. If you want to help, quit your whining, get out there and suck a dick in that lower 95th percentile.

 

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