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TOUR DATES

 

October 16

Rock Island Brewing Company
Rock Island, IL

 

October 17

Reggie's Live
Chicago, IL

 

October 18

Reggie's Live
Chicago, IL

 

October 20

Dr. Grins @ The BOB
Grand Rapids, MI

 

October 21

Pittsburgh Improv
Pittsburgh, PA

 

October 22

Snickerz Comedy Club
Fort Wayne, IN

 

October 23

Cleveland Improv
Cleveland OH

 

October 24

The Machine Shop
Flint, MI

 

October 25

The Token Lounge
Detroit, MI

 

November 10

Byron Bay Brewing Company
Byron Bay, AU

 

November 11

The Greek Club
Brisbane, AU

 

November 12

Ainslie Football Club
Canberra, AU

 

November 14

UNSW Roundhouse
*SOLD OUT*
Sydney, AU

 

November 15

UNSW Roundhouse
Sydney, AU

 

November 16

Capri Theatre
Adelaide, AU

 

November 18

Fly By Night Club
*SOLD OUT*
Perth, AU

 

November 19

Fly By Night Club
Perth, AU

 

November 22

Dallas Brooks Centre
Melbourne, AU

 

November 26

University of Auckland
Auckland, NZ
-------
No other New Zealand cities/towns will be added

 

« I Am Gay | Main | Tommy T's »
Saturday
Oct162004

The Vote

If you watched the debates then you are probably like me - a lonely and bitter person who follows the state of the world as a lofty and noble-sounding escape from the tedium of everyday life. Just another sport to armchair quarterback on Tuesday thru Saturday.

You also may have noticed in the debates that we are all about to be fucked, the only differences are slight options in what position you get to be in when you are penetrated by the Iron Sausage. Kerry will give you a soft pillow to arch your ass up while Bush may yank your hair a bit to make it feel a bit more violent and a little less gay.

Here's how America will vote.

Idiots will vote for George W Bush.

Idiots who think they are smart will vote for John Kerry.

I am voting for the Libertarian candidate Michael Badnarik. And so would most people if they believe in all the rhetoric they spout about freedom and the "American Way".

Or if they simply knew about him.

Well who is this guy? Did he ever fingerbang his babysitter? Could have. Did he smoke pot? Dunno. Did he go to Vietnam? Who gives a shit. Are his daughters fuckable? Haven't seen a picture.

But his ideas make sense, which seems to be the last thing the voting public care about in an election.

Allow me to cut out some sound bites from his site into short-attention span easy reading for you.




 


Iraq -

The War in Iraq is a failure, and the U.S. government should never have waged it. As your president, one of my first tasks will be to begin the orderly process of bringing our troops home as quickly as can safely be accomplished.

First, allow me to dispel a myth. People in the Middle East do not hate us for our freedom. They do not hate us for our lifestyle. They hate us because we have spent many years attempting to force them to emulate our lifestyle.

It was because of American troops in Saudi Arabia, lethal sanctions on Iraq, support for states in serious violation of International Law, and siding with Israel in its dispute with the Palestinians to the tune of more than $3 billion per year in taxpayers' funds that terrorist leaders were able to recruit those individuals who caused 3,000 Americans to pay the ultimate price on September 11, 2001.

The U.S. government has never succeeded in establishing freedom and democracy in any of its foreign adventures in the last fifty years. Freedom and democracy are blessings any people must establish for themselves.

Here at home, war leads to a decline in civil liberties, higher taxes, and wartime economic measures that blur the line between business and state, allowing politically favored corporations to profit at the expense of taxpayers.

In short, a libertarian foreign policy is one of national defense, and not international offense. It would protect our country, not police the world.

 

The Draft -

Coerced military conscription also known as the draft is perhaps the single most anti-freedom action governments regularly take against their own citizens.

If a free America were ever subjected to attack, most Americans would be more than willing to defend themselves, their homes, and their families against the foreign aggressors. The very fact that too few Americans are volunteering to fight the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan illustrates that too few Americans view the actions being taken by our government as integral to the preservation of our freedoms.

 

Economy -

Excess regulation and government spending destroy jobs and increase unemployment. Every regulator we fire results in the creation of over 150 new jobs, enough to hire the ex-regulator, the unemployed, and the able-bodied poor.

Have you lost your job to downsizing or corporate mergers? Are you fearful that you might? If so, you won't want to vote for the Democrats or Republicans this November.

Establishment politicians think that larger, more elaborate government jobs programs are the solution to your problems. However, since these programs must be funded by taking money from the private sector, even more jobs are destroyed-more jobs than the government programs can ever create.

More government regulation and spending translate to more unemployment and less wealth creation. Less wealth creation means fewer goods and services, less health care, higher prices. We know how to reverse the process; we've done it before. If you elect me as your president, I promise to downsize government instead of your job!

 

Civil Liberties -

The erosion of our civil liberties since 9/11 does not represent a new phenomenon. It represents an acceleration of long-existing trends. As president, my goal will be to to reverse those trends and to restore, respect and enforce the Bill of Rights.

In crafting the Bill of Rights, the framers were careful to acknowledge implicitly and explicitly two key truths:

The first is that government does not grant rights it acknowledges them. They exist independently of government. They're part of who and what we are. And, as Jefferson noted in the Declaration of Independence, the only legitimate function of government is to secure them.

The second is that government is a servant to whom we delegate powers, not a master who dispenses privileges. The Constitution carefully enumerates the powers we, the people, delegate to our government and it specifically denies that government any powers not so delegated. Our rights lie beyond the pale of that delegation. They are sacrosanct. Any government which infringes upon them is engaged in an intolerable usurpation.

Crim

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