A quick update and then I gotta take a shit.
My regular Alaska holiday trip was cut short because of shit going on in LA but we still got in enough abuse in to call it Christmas. The annual "X"-mas party, although teetering on over-production, is still my favorite place to be in life. You guys make everything worthwhile, mostly by not giving a fuck at all.
Thanks to you, the bored and angry emailing public, I finally got most of my money from that booker in the UK.
"X"-mas Party 2002
He's still short about 250 bucks. A lot of people would be satisfied with that after this long. I am not one of those people. No need for you to email him anymore. If he hasn't squared up by the time I go back to Edinburgh, I will title my show "Jon Keyes is a Rat-Fuck, Deadbeat and He Still Owes Me Money."
I'm almost hoping that he doesn't pay me just for the fun I'd have with the press.
On the other hand, there are people in the world who will send you money for no fucking reason.
Since I've asked for money for no fucking reason, I have brought in a grand total of $51.67. Paul Dekort from Canada sent in 26 dollars yesterday and is now my new best friend.
That's right, you can now buy my friendship right now through PayPal. Just ask my best friend Paul Dekort - that is, until someone outbids his 26 dollars.
I am now in Roswell, GA - in spite of America West's best attempts to keep me from making it here - and am once again lodged at a Motel 6 next to a Waffle House on a freeway off-ramp with nothing to do but contemplate a more extensive update, probably having to do with suicide or quitting comedy.
Keep those calls and letters coming.